Event Details
Over the Hedge
Location:
Date & Time: October 27th, 7:30-9:30
Lead by: Leah S’ganit, Marla N’siah, Yuval Sh’licha
Materials:
Timeline:
Havdalah -10 min (7:30-7:40)
Get girls sitting/settled in room-5 min (7:40-7:45)
Description of hedging and communication style- 5 min (7:45-7:50)
Interactive poem, break out into small group- 2 min (7:50-7:52)
Small group discussions-28 min (7:52-8:20)
Intro to Slam poetry + Read Thighs poem- 5 min (8:20-8:25)
Intro activity and time to write slam poems-20 min (8:25-8:45)
Presentations of poems -5 min (8:45-8:50)
Conclude- 10 min (8:50-9)
*TAKE UP PHONES*
Paint activity-25 min (9-9:25)
Reflection-rose thorn or I like I wish I wonder (9:25-9:30)
Description: Empowerment: Verbal Communication
Script:
1. Introduction
Leah: Slam poetry is an art form that doesn’t require big words, doesn’t require complex ideas, but instead - requires the author, reader, and performer to say what they mean, mean what they say, and do so with energy, enthusiasm, and purpose.
Marla: Tonight we are going to be challenging you to examine the way you communicate with others, and have you share the dreams you may not always share. Now - we want you to be a part of our poem. With no words, please stand up and keep your mouths closed.
Yuval: Stomp your foot in place if this has ever come out of your mouth or it applies to you
This is an interactive poem
Leah: Saying “I don’t know if this is right but....”
Marla: Saying “Maybe it sounds stupid but...”
Yuval: Saying “I’m usually not good at this but...”
Leah: Saying “I’m sorry” when you mean “excuse me” or “thank you”
Marla: Saying “I feel like....” when you know
Yuval: Saying “I’m probably wrong” when you know you’re right
Leah: Saying “I don’t care” when you do
Take a seat
Leah: In our generation, only 18% of the population is considered “assertive” and are known to deal with things head on. These are people who thrive on conflict, will say what they think, don’t care who they offend (at times) and are bold in their approach.
Marla: The remaining 82% of the population tends to shrink away from conflict, would prefer not to address things, or just tolerates someone who they disagree with. Why is it so hard for people to say what they mean, and mean what they say?
Yuval: We say “Would you possibly be able to help me with this very minimal task but if you can’t that’s totally fine and I probably shouldn’t have asked at all anyway” - when we mean “Help me move this box god damn it.”
Leah: And this pattern of speech ladies - is called Hedging. Hedging what we say under a layer of vague terms and indirect verbs. Hedging what we mean when we know what we want to say. Our generation knows what we want - but can’t always say it out loud. It’s time we get over the Hedge.
2. Walk Around
Leah: Around the room are phrases that we use in our speech, whether we use them consciously or unconsciously. Take a minute to walk around and stand near the phrase that resonates with you most.
Play music????
3. Discussion
Signs:
-
“I don’t know if this is right but....”- (lead by leah)
-
“Maybe it sounds stupid but...” (lead by marla)
-
“I’m usually not good at this but...” (lead by yuval)
-
“I’m sorry” when you mean “excuse me” or “thank you” (lead by leah)
-
“I feel like....” when you know (lead by marla)
-
“I’m probably wrong” when you know you’re right (lead by yuval)
-
“I don’t care” when you do (lead by leah)
Leaders (say this in your groups) : We use hedges to soften what we say or write, and are an important part of polite conversation. They make what we say less direct and include statements with no substance and vague language such as “sort of” and “kind of”, and ___________ (your phrase.) Do you notice you do this - and why do you do it?
Questions
-
Do you notice you do this (and other phrases) - and why do you do it?
-
In what situations do you find yourself hedging your statements most?
-
What does hedging to do our words? How does it make us feel?
-
Why is it important to not hedge our words?
-
When can hedging be used to our benefit?
-
Why is direct communication important to you?
3. Dress Code Poem
Come back together as a group
Leah: While Hedging isn’t inherently bad, it can dangerously diminish our credibility, confidence, and meaning of our words. Letting go of Hedging is about being unapologetic with our words and feelings.
Marla: As we said - Slam poetry is an art form that does the same. It allows us to speak our minds, whether our ideas are widely accepted or not, in a powerful and liberating manner.
Leah: We want to show you just how this can be done.
Dress Code
It's before first-period...
My teachers see me walking down the hallway and rudely gawk at my body as if it's some sort of disgrace.
Flash forward...
My teacher calls the assistant principal down to 'approve' my clothes.
I'm sent to the office to find out my mother was on her way.
The same mother who has to work every day to make a living, and to pay for my clothes.
The same mother who's making eighty-one cents to my principal's dollar.
The same mother who taught me to love my body and how to look appropriate.
The same mother who approved and complimented me, only an hour before, earlier that morning.
The bell for the second period rings.
I'm still sitting in the office.
Because wasting my time over what I'm wearing is more important than my education. Right?
I can hear the whispers of my degrading school's staff.
A few higher established adults to an 'outfit check'.
Quickly after, the assistant called my name.
I stood up and then I'm sent into a room.
“we're gathered here to talk about your outfit today."
A tee shirt dress with shorts underneath.
It reminded me of when I was in the fifth grade.
Girls were told that we needed to cover ourselves up because boys thought about our bodies in a bad manner, and if we dressed a certain way and something happened, it was our fault.
It's getting close to the third period when my mother arrives.
After the constant duel to what seemed, death, with words, I got to go.
I didn't have to change this time.
I was lucky.
Lucky that a teacher came to my defense along with my mother, and told them my outfit was fine, and I couldn't help that I was a curvier girl.
Instead of focusing on what girls are wearing, maybe we should tell boys to keep their hands to themselves and grow up.
Because that's what the girls have to learn from an early age.
Our bodies shouldn't be over sexualized for what's covering them.
Girls are shamed and dress coded everywhere because of what we wear.
What if we focused on teaching students to be mature young adults, rather than people who apparently can't handle a girl who shows her shoulders?
Let's all obsess over real world problems.
Not what someone wears, or if it's distracting to boys.
Just when someone starts having confidence (which is a victory in itself), we're torn down based off of the clothes we put on our bodies.
Girls are taught that it's our fault.
Boys can just open and claim your body, like some kind of book.
Even when the only word printed is NO.
We struggle in our bodies from such a young age.
Instead of worrying about a girl's apparel, let's worry about the men who need to learn to control themselves.
Back into groups
4. Write own poetry
Instruct girls to write a poem, can be about something physical, an ambition, a passion, a goal, something they love about themselves or are excited about that they don’t usually talk about. It can really be about whatever they want.
Girls need to stay quiet, use this to take time for yourself.
Play music????
5-8 minutes for writing (depending on their attention)
Leah: We want to challenge each of you to be more cognizant about your own speech and hold your fellow BBGs to the same standard.
Marla: Our words are important.
Leah: They are meaningful and powerful and they deserve to be heard.
Leah: Call up girls as example
Marla: It is easy to fall back into the pattern of hedging our words, and it is something we are all guilty of doing.
Yuval: That’s why we want you to challenge yourself
Leah: to say what you mean, mean what you say,
ALL: and get over the hedge.
Leah: Now we will be taking a 5 minute break for snacks!!
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zLncPmxTuPjlICI_B6UXYhj9ri8oRGQQDZ0hEynPHV4/edit?usp=sharing