When I first became involved in BBYO, I didn’t attend every program, and I didn’t run for a leadership position at the first opportunity I had. While others seemed to be constantly involved, taking on new responsibilities and finding their place in the Movement, I was still figuring out mine. I often wondered if I was missing out on experience that everyone else was having. Every program I didn’t attend and every position I didn’t pursue made me question whether I was making the most of my time in BBYO. I experienced FOMO, feeling as though everyone else was moving forward while I was standing still.

It’s easy to feel this way in a Movement with so many opportunities. Between chapter programs, regional conventions, summer experiences, board positions, and new friendships, there is always something happening. Seeing other people get involved can make us feel like we should be doing more, too. Without realizing it, we begin comparing our experiences to theirs, measuring our involvement against how much time other people dedicate to BBYO. What starts as a desire to be part of something meaningful can become pressure to keep up.

Over time, I began to realize that there is no single timeline for finding your place in BBYO. Some people know immediately that they want to lead, while others need time to discover what interests them and where they feel most comfortable. Neither approach is better than the other. Not running for a position right away doesn’t mean you lack leadership potential, just as missing a program doesn’t mean you care any less about your chapter. Sometimes, giving yourself the space to explore your interests is what allows you to become more confident in the role you eventually choose to play.

This realization changed how I understood my identity within BBYO. In a community that celebrates leadership and involvement, it can be tempting to define yourself by the positions you hold or the number of events you attend. But a title can only tell people so much about who you are. Your impact might come from welcoming a new member, supporting a friend, contributing an idea, or helping someone feel like they belong. These moments may not always receive recognition, but they are a part of what makes a chapter a community. You don’t need a leadership title to be a leader, and you don’t need to be everywhere to make a difference.

That doesn’t mean we should avoid new experiences or stay within our comfort zones. BBYO offers opportunities to grow, and sometimes saying yes to something unfamiliar can change the way we see ourselves. The important thing is understanding why we say yes. There is a difference between pursuing an opportunity because it genuinely excites you and doing it because you’re afraid of being left behind. One allows you to grow on your own terms; the other makes your experience feel like a competition.

For anyone who has ever looked at everything happening in their chapter or region or even across the order and wondered whether they were doing enough, I hope you give yourself permission to find your own pace. You can take time before running for board. You can miss a program and still be a dedicated member. You can be proud of your friends’ accomplishments without feeling like you need to match them. Someone else’s involvement does not diminish your own, and their journey does not determine what yours should look like.

Ultimately, BBYO is not about doing the most; it’s about finding meaningful ways to be part of something bigger than yourself. The opportunities you choose, the relationships you build, and the experiences that shape you will look different from everyone else's, and that’s exactly how it should be! You don’t have to do everything to belong. You just have to give yourself the chance to discover what belonging means to you.