Since I can remember,  I have always associated singing as a group in a circle with goodbyes. In Girl Scouts, we would end every meeting by singing “Make New Friends.” At camp, we would sing in a Havdalah circle to end Shabbat, and there was always the final song circle of the session where everyone ends up crying in a big mob after running to hug their friends. A circle meant goodbye, and the songs were chosen to help put into words the gratitude we had for each other after spending our summers together. When I think about these songs, “Lean on Me” by Bill Withers always comes to mind; short ad-libs and swaying together. 

For the longest time, as I ran Maui BBYO, I felt like I was alone in it. Starting a chapter is hard, even more so when there is no region around you. I had adults and an advisor to help me, but I had no board to rely on; I served as the acting board. I was too shy to ask for help because I was stubborn in my belief that anyone should be able to handle this workload alone. I struggled for months on end,  planning programs, trying to successfully advertise, and getting a real turnout. It sucked, but I kept going. 

Throughout last year, I began to have more successful events, gaining confidence, and seeing a higher participation in the ILN. I was slowly finding people who would offer to help, support, or encourage me when we would talk about what was going on in our chapters. I never thought anyone was actually serious, so I would always reply with “thank you, that's really nice, maybe sometime next month”. It was rarely “yes, please”, “do you have time to call this week to work on it?” or “can you send me a template?”. I had so many people around me offering to help, but instead, I was afraid I would be a burden, so I took on even more alone. When pitching BBYO to people, I would always talk about having friendships and connections with people all over the world and how much those people helped me, even when I wouldn’t accept their help. But ILTC changed it all. 

I met people who were coming to Maui or Hawai’i later in the year and asking to come and be a part of the events. People were offering suggestions and their Chofesh time to plan events. At first, I was a little uncomfortable with the idea, but as time went on, the events seemed realistic, the scheduling matched up, and I was leaning on people who I had met just a couple of days before to help me and be someone I could lean on. 

That being said, there is a line in the song, “If there is a load you have to bear that you can’t carry, I’m right up the road, I’ll share your load.” It makes so much sense to me. At first, during song circles, I would sing along- words, tears, routine- but I hadn’t interpreted the words until I was singing it for the last time as a camper at any sleepaway camp.

During ILTC alone, I had accepted and received so much help from my Blueprint group, friends, and staff that I began to gain confidence and get rid of the feeling that I was a burden. I think about that line every day: “If there is a load you have to bear that you cannot carry, I will be there for you.”

Sometimes life happens, and you can have a lot to carry, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. Maybe you haven’t found your people yet, just like how I felt, but in BBYO you most certainly will. There will be so many people who are willing to help and carry the load. Just remember they might not live close, but they are always up the road, a phone call away. 

So I look back on my memories of every song session I have been a part of, and I remember the people who surround me, singing at the top of their lungs and smiling. Sharing a workload is hard to ask for, but once you realize the people you meet are actually serious about helping you, life can become a lot easier. Asking for help is not a burden to someone, and it most definitely isn’t embarrassing. Help makes the world go round. 

Just like standing in a circle, one person who sways supports the person next to them as they sway. Help and connection make a circle stand on its own. Without the power of community, every song session I have been a part of would have been isolating. It is the power in connection, trust, and empathy that makes each goodbye impactful and keeps the people who spend time together in close relation.